Q: Is it weird that a straight guy likes his own cum? I prefer to share it with a girl (lick it off her, etc.), but even when I masturbate I just like to cum in my own mouth or just lick it off my fingers.
A: I searched the archives and am happy to say that, in five years of this column's existence, I have not answered nor even received this question! This seems odd to me, because the practice of a man ingesting his own semen is actually fairly normal among the sexually adventurous set. (Though I suppose that could be the very reason I have yet to hear from a reader on the matter.)
The most common method of eating one's own ejaculate seems to be via slurping up a mixture of excretions after both partners have had at least one nice, messy orgasm. There's something to be said for not only wearing but also tasting the byproduct of a particularly hot shared moment. A lot of guys also like to blow their loads on a partner's stomach, chest or face and then lick the area clean. It's part erotic culmination and part handy cleanup, really: Unless you're a professional contortionist, it's nearly impossible to lick your own stomach. Plus, you're saving trees, water and energy by not using Kleenex or running that hand towel through the wash an extra time.
Now seems like a good time to discuss the nutritional value of semen. This low-calorie treat has just five to seven calories in the average teaspoon-size serving and comes with some protein, amino acids and a few vitamins and minerals. Unfortunately, that's not enough to be considered a supplement to improve one's diet. Semen is mostly water, so in order to enjoy any nourishment, you'd have to fill a Mason jar with jizz more times than you are physically capable of doing in a day. Even with a little help from your friends -- as long as we're being adventurous here -- it would probably be more goo than you're willing to swallow in one sitting. More tangibly, studies have shown that women who absorb semen either orally or vaginally experience elevated moods and a significant decrease in high blood pressure associated with pregnancy.
So is it weird that you enjoy eating your own ejaculate? Nothing about healthy, consensual sex (including sex with yourself) is weird; there are just different ways of doing it. I'll venture to guess that most men have tried their own spooge out of curiosity, even if they never had the urge to do it again. I doubt the topic ever comes up on the basketball court during open gym, but not many of us feel the need to broadcast our sexual proclivities to our friends.
Among men who either don't enjoy or have never had the desire to eat their own ejaculate, the consensus seems to be that they either lose the urge to do anything hot-and-bothery two seconds after orgasming, or they are simply not interested. I solicited opinions from a few guy friends, and none of them admitted to doing it, but all of them said it wasn't unusual and knew other guys (or at least former partners of their partners) who were into it. One of my friends likened the act to getting peed on or pegged; you're either into it or you're not, but it's really not that weird in the grand scope of sex.
I've read plenty of books, both instructional and fictional, on BDSM, and the act of consuming one's own semen seems to come up most often in female dominatrix scenarios. While it's easy to see the act as inherently submissive, I don't regard it as just that. With a partner, it pushes erotic boundaries and makes the experience more intense. Being slightly taboo, it undoubtedly evokes the same pleasure when it's just you and your hand. Or you and your mouth, which intrigues me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go Xtube that.