Q: I have a question about the woman squirt. This has happened numerous times with different partners, and hasn't happened at all with others. What is your take on this and is the woman actually coming during this wet presentation? How common is this?
A: Female ejaculation (or squirting) occurs when the paraurethral glands fill up with a clear, odorless fluid that gets expelled during sexual arousal, specifically by stimulation of the tissue surrounding those glands. That tissue stretches from the clitoris up into the body and includes a spongy bump located on the anterior wall of the vagina -- ak a the G-spot. The G-spot is generally associated with female ejaculation, as many women who squirt cite it as their magic gush button.
Not all women have visible or even present paraurethral glands and the ability to squirt. Many women who can ejaculate do it before or after orgasm, not necessarily during. They are two different physiological responses to arousal that sometimes happen together, but sometimes not. Anywhere from half to three-quarters of women surveyed report a little squirting, whether it's a trickle, a flow or an all-out geyser stream.
For the lady looking to ejaculate, I have a few tips. If your current female partner is interested in squirting, have her give the following a try:
Get in shape. The pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle) assists in quicker, stronger orgasms. Like any muscle in the body, the more toned the PC muscle is, the more responsive it is to stimulation and the easier it is to control. Kegel exercises are easy to do any hour of the day -- just squeeze and release repeatedly like you're trying not to pee your pants. There are numerous toys out there that effectively strengthen the muscle while offering pleasure. The Lelo Luna Beads set is perhaps the most highly lauded, and I found it for as little as $28 on Amazon.
Empty your bladder. G-spot stimulation often creates a sensation of having to urinate, and that sudden onset of anxiety over peeing all over your partner tends to kill the mood. Also, hopping up out of bed to empty your bladder mid-foreplay isn't exactly sexy (unless it is to you, but that's a topic for a different column).
Masturbate. It's easier to ejaculate once you're fully aroused and aware of even the tiniest sensations in and around your lady parts. In some women, squirting only happens before or after orgasm. The area should be engorged from stimulation and you should be naturally wet.
Go nuts. The urethral sponge is one big organ that likes to be played with all over. Massage your clit however you like to from the outside. With fingers or a favorite toy, rub the G-spot from the inside with as much gusto as you can handle. More is more in this case; ejaculation is more likely to happen with rigorous stimulation, so you might want to invest in a high-speed vibrator or make sure you have a dedicated partner.
Thrust and push. Once you feel the urge to buck your hips and bear down, do it. That's a good indicator that your squirting glands are full and want to let go. Remember that it doesn't necessarily happen during orgasm, and it doesn't happen every time the G-spot is stimulated. Also, some like the sensation and some don't.
Don't sweat it if it doesn't happen. Some ladies will squirt and others will not. If you do, cool, try it again! If you don't, well, there's some time saved on washing an extra load of sheets or towels.