Q: I just read your '08 column on giving the best blow job ever ("Blow him away," April 24, 2008). I'm a guy and it was very good advice. I would add something that girls too rarely understand about driving stick: It is pushing (down the shaft, stretching the skin so to speak), not pulling that generally gives the most pleasure. Just think about it. Thrusting into (which we are primally, almost spasmodically driven to do) equals pushing, not pulling. Please, spread the word. Thanks!
A: Hey, it's what I'm here for! Your comparison of stroking down the shaft during a blow job or hand job to thrusting in a penetrative intercourse situation is a good one, and I couldn't have said it better myself. The areas on the penis most responsive to touch are the frenulum (on the underside just south of the head, resembling the frenulum under your tongue), the coronal ridge around the base of the head on either side of the frenulum, and the raphe, which is the ridge that runs from the frenulum all the way down the length of the penis to the scrotum. If you're sensing a theme here, it's because there is one: These sensitive parts are located on the underside of the penis, which is more easily stimulated in a thrusting motion.
Lacking a penis myself, I ran your suggestion past a few guy friends to get their take. All of them agreed: Pushing down feels better than pulling up. To quote one of them: "The most effective blow jobs include plenty of tongue friction on the [underside] of the shaft during downward motions." With regard to using your hands, another friend said: "Sometimes the girl yanks on it like she's trying to strangle it. ... That doesn't do anything."
That's not to say one should ignore the unit as a whole, of course. Tonguing and kissing and fingertip caressing all over that lovely member is generally appreciated, and anyone delivering such affections should feel free to take it down south to the sack. Here are a few more tips for ladies out there who might find themselves working with unfamiliar equipment:
- Men almost universally prefer to be touched harder than women during sexual stimulation, so you'll probably have to use your hands a little to help get the job done. Alternate between oral and manual pumping, keeping the two pleasures separate. To quote a friend again: "Just sticking the tip in your mouth with an accompanying hand job on the lower shaft is rarely, if ever, going to bring the Big O."
- When using your hand, employ a firm but gentle grip to move it down the shaft, then ease up slightly when moving it back up. Mix it up by using a twisting motion on your way down. Try using both hands, pushing one hand down the shaft directly followed by the other. Just remember, you're not trying to asphyxiate a snake.
- The scrotum can be sensitive (sometimes even ticklish), but most guys love having it played with during head. Test the waters by sliding your tongue down his shaft to the seam in the middle of his sack, lolling your tongue around. Tug on it gently from the bottom, with either lips or fingertips. Give long licks from the perineum upward into the sack.
- If you're not getting any feedback, be it in the form of panting, groaning or "Fuck, yeahs," you'll want to alter your technique. No one knows how to stroke a dick like its owner, so ask your partner to give some verbal instruction or have him take the reins and show you how it's done. The formula isn't the same for every dude, but as long as you're willing to find his, he's going to appreciate the effort.