Bad breaks: A history of wacky Minnesota sports injuries

TwinsFest wrapped up last month without incident — or so we thought. It was revealed last week that Twins pitcher Anthony Swarzak cracked two ribs during the annual fan festival. The culprit: “horseplay.” The perils of horseplay will take a month from Swarzak, who’s the latest in a not-so-proud tradition of Minnesota athletes suffering undignified injuries.

Kevin Love: knuckle pushups

Love makes a living hitting shots and grabbing rebounds with his hands. The knuckles on those hands broke last October — costing the Timberwolves star nine games — when Love introduced the non-martial arts/boxing world to the practice of knuckle push-ups.

Joe Mauer: bilateral leg weakness

If Mauer weren’t pulling a cool $23 million per year, he would have caught less flak over the bilateral leg weakness that stole two months from his 2011 season. Frustrated fans took issue with the team’s fragile investment falling to the world’s wimpiest-sounding injury.

Joel Zumaya: “Guitar Hero”

The Twins knew they were signing an injury risk in flame-throwing righty Zumaya. You just had to look to 2006, when inflammation in the pitcher’s arm knocked him out of the ALCS; his Tigers lost the series. The cause of the injury? Excessive playing of “Guitar Hero.” Seriously. Zumaya’s tenure with the Twins lasted 13 pitches into 2012, ending with a (baseball-related!) blown-out elbow in spring training.

Denard Span and Danny Valencia: car accident

With the worst record in the majors and a bloated disabled list, the Twins could have used a spot of good news as the 2011 season sputtered to a halt. That news didn’t come in September, when a poetically stupid fender bender between Span and Valencia cost both teammates playing time.

Marty Cordova: sunburn

“Cordova is day-to-day after burning his face in a tanning bed,” read a 2002 injury report on the Baltimore Orioles’ outfielder. Cordova — who won A.L. Rookie of the Year with the Twins in 1995 — must have yearned for the protective Teflon of the Metrodome, as he was forced to miss several day games.

Gus Frerotte: head-butting a wall

Minnesotans remember Frerotte for his stints at QB for the Vikings (2003-04, 2008). The world remembers his 1997 TD celebration, where the Redskins passer was hospitalized after head-butting a concrete wall.