Alexis on the Sexes: Big gulp

ALEXIS MCKINNIS | Updated 8/29/2013

Guy yearns to ejaculate in own mouth.

A: I love the fantasy of shooting cum in my mouth, but can’t seem to complete the act. My girlfriend encourages the fantasy while I masturbate and I couldn’t be more turned on. I have tasted my cum and like it. How do I get over this hurdle? Turned on now!


Q: Whoa, cálmate, my friend. It’s awesome that you’ve already talked about this with your girlfriend, and that she’s happy to participate and help make your fantasy come true. If your hurdle seems to be a psychological one, though, you should have her sit out the self-facial sessions for now until you’re sure you can pull it off on demand.

It’s not unusual for a guy to want to taste his own cum, and plenty of guys include it in their regular masturbation repertoire. Propping pillows under your butt, sitting up against the wall, throwing your legs back over your head — those are just a few ways to get into the right position for catching your own load. (Some dudes can even auto-fellate, which requires a level of flexibility that I can’t even comprehend.) Try some of those different positions while jerking off so you can get comfortable with the idea of squirting at your own face.

You’re not going to get it all in your mouth every time — we all know that even the best shooter misses his mark once in a while — but that’s not the idea here. The goal is to make jerking it toward your mouth a normal culmination of masturbation, so it can eventually become a normal part of sex with your girlfriend.

Once you’ve got the bull’s-eye down on your own — with the occasional triple, because nobody’s perfect — then you can start introducing the concept in the bedroom. Try not to focus your thoughts on how badly you want to catch your own load. I don’t know what in particular is preventing you from achieving your goal, but I have a hunch it might be pressure to perform. If all you’re thinking about is how you’re totally gonna ejaculate into your mouth this time, then it’s almost a guarantee that you’re not gonna be able to do it. Go about your regular bedroom business and don’t psych yourself out. It’s a great day when you can finally pull off the DIY money shot but, if not, it’s still a good day when you get laid.

If you don’t think the problem is that you’re psyching yourself out, then have your girlfriend employ a little dirty talk to help you along. She should tell you how sexy it is that you can come in your own mouth, and that she wants so badly to watch you do it. A little finger-in-the-booty action — or dildo or vibrator, depending on what you’re into — will also help. Prostate stimulation tends to not only hasten the orgasm process for men, but it can also help push the ejaculate when it is time to come (handy when you’re aiming at a specific target).

One other thing you might want to try is clearing your bedroom of any distractions. You probably sleep with your laptop, your iPad or your phone (or maybe all three) within arm’s length. Toss them in the next room when it’s time to get naked. Also, the adage “messy bed, messy head” applies to banging, too. Put the laundry away, tidy up the top of your dresser and hang some dark curtains. No bright lights, TVs or workspaces allowed.

Do whatever needs to be done to make your bedroom a sanctuary reserved strictly for sleeping and sex, free from the hum of an Xbox or the glow of your Galaxy Nexus.