Polish this

ALEXIS MCKINNIS , Vita.mn | Updated 11/20/2013

So you want to be a sexy maid?

Q: I was considering applying for a “fantasy maid” job. You know, it’s regular housecleaning, but you’re wearing a sexy outfit. I have no problem with my looks (since my boob job) and I like cleaning. I just don’t know how lucrative, safe or honest this type of field is. Have you heard or know about it? There are three companies in Minnesota that I came across on Google.Tiffany, 26

 

A: I narrowed that down to two for you, upon chatting with one of my girlfriends who has done topless maid service in the past. She recommended contacting Dusting Bunnies (www.dustingbunniesmn.com) and Sexy in Mpls (www.facebook.com/sexyinmplsmaid) and inquiring into whether they’re hiring. This being Minneapolis and not Las Vegas, naked-based services aren’t in the highest demand here, so don’t get your hopes up for a wide range of options. According to my friend, the pay is better than your average housecleaning gig but not as good as, say, an exotic dancer at a reputable gentlemen’s club (turns out she’s done that, too). Regarding the safety issue, you’re always on the job with another maid, so you’re never alone in a client’s home. On the Dusting Bunnies website, it mentions that an escort for the maids will be provided if there are more than two people in the client’s home at the time of cleaning, which tells me that the safety of the girls is taken very seriously.

My girlfriend ultimately decided it was not for her for pragmatic reasons. The risk of bodily harm while on the job, however small, just didn’t equal the reward. She never had a bad experience, but there are other topless “maid” websites out there that are just barely camouflaged escort sites, so some clients could get the wrong idea. Also, the legit companies I mentioned are most likely LLCs, so you’re working as an independent contractor to the business. If something did happen to you, they’re off the hook as far as liability is concerned.

 

Q: What are your thoughts on reciprocity? As a woman who has given many unreturned blowjobs, I tend to not worry about it when it goes the other way, but every once in a while I get nagged with guilt. For example, recently I met a guy at a bar and even though I told him nothing was going to happen, one thing led to another that night and lo and behold I ended up having an orgasm. But by that time I knew that I really wasn’t feeling right about sleeping with him (a stranger to me, who I didn’t really want to date), and I said goodbye without returning the favor. Was that unethical? Or at least discourteous?

 

A: Discourteous is a stretch. Unethical? Hell, no. My trusty Merriam-Webster defines ethical as “involving or expressing moral approval or disapproval” or “conforming to accepted standards of conduct.” Clearly, a little orgasm between strangers doesn’t break your moral code. You simply didn’t want to give the guy the wrong idea about where things were headed after you got off. You told him from the start that nothing was going to happen, he made an attempt anyway, so you took advantage of it and then said goodbye. Big deal.

As far as “accepted standards of conduct” are concerned: BAHAHA, are you kidding me?! In the realm of sexual encounters among the young and sauced, reciprocity is hardly the norm. Show me a woman who hasn’t given at least one unreturned oral favor and I’ll show you a goddamned unicorn. Sleep easy.

Ask Alexis
Alexis McKinnis is taking your questions about sex, dating and relationships. Send them to advice@vita.mn or submit anonymously here. Don’t leave out the juicy details!