Editor’s note: Alexis is gettin’ the D in Boston this week, but here’s a classic column from 2009.
Q: I was wondering if I should date this one guy I met online who is 53 and a grandpa, or should I go on a date with a guy I met at school who is in his 40s. I am white and he is black! ANNNETTE, 37
A: Interracial dating! The horror! Seriously, interracial relationships haven’t been taboo since 1967, when Mildred Loving (a black woman) and Richard Loving (a white man) won their civil rights case against the state of Virginia. Local police broke into the couple’s home in the middle of the night to charge them with felonies for getting married in the District of Columbia, then returning to their home state, where black-white unions were illegal. With the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, the Lovings eventually fought their case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, where the convictions were overturned in a monumental ruling which stated that anti-miscegenation laws were both racist and a violation of the 14th Amendment. Less than a year before her death in 2008, the humble Mildred Loving issued a public statement to commemorate the 40th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia:
“I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”
Getting back to you now, I have to ask: Why choose? Life is too short to stay inside your perceived comfort zone, whether that means within your race or within your age demographic. Also, come on, it’s the 21st flippin’ century. Date them both and explore all your options.
Q: I think you are sick having these columns on here!! SHAMEFUL, 41
A: Shameful is trying to make others feel ashamed of themselves for being curious and wanting to learn more about sex. It’s when a boy is raised to think sexual urges are sick and wrong, and that boy grows up to be a man who commits acts of sexual violence against women. Shameful is an evangelical preacher who speaks out so strongly against homosexuality that he becomes a poster child for hate and then, almost predictably, later admits to having longstanding sexual relationships with gay male prostitutes and church members.
Shameful is when people don’t educate themselves or their children about the dangers of sex as AIDS slowly consumes the Third World, killing an estimated 32 million people to date. It’s shameful that the United States has one of the world’s highest levels of teen pregnancy, despite being an otherwise developed country (with Minnesota among the top 10 fastest-rising states in incidence of teen pregnancy). It’s also shameful that some teens don’t even know that anyone age 17 or older can buy the morning-after pill without a prescription.
Shameful is when someone can’t admire a piece of art without feeling embarrassed because they also happen to be looking at a naked body. It’s when a Colorado man protests the presence of a bare-butt sculpture in his town because, secretly, he can’t even glance at it without imagining ramming his dick into another man’s ass, and it makes him want to kill himself.
Also, your mom’s shameful.